This one’s going to be a bit heavier, I think. Just a warning! … I catch myself feeling a little discouraged more often these days than I used to feel. I’ve been home with the pandemic and everything, and I’ve been doing a lot of work on this business, Gray Graphics Photography. But I could be doing all the right things and still feel like there’s nothing happening. Today’s post features me battling with discouragement in my life.
I want to start photographing people again. The pandemic put a big hold on events everywhere, so there are no events for me to photograph. A lot of folks – understandably – are also scared about meeting in-person, so it’s gotten hard for me to have any clients at all right now! I’ve also been feeling my own anxieties and other negative things due to being home all of the time and not having that outlet to work creatively, so that’s caused a negative cycle of not feeling okay enough to even work on my business – leaving my daily planning pages looking sparse and in severe need of attention.
This little cocktail of ills, if you will, has caused me to feel quite wearisome about my goals and dreams for my business. In order to understand what I mean, I feel like you’ll need to first understand what my vision for the future really is. I see myself in this little hole-in-the-wall photography studio that I own. It has a small front desk area with a coffee bar and a cute kids’ play place. My photo projects are all over the walls. I get there each morning to do admin work and to take any morning portrait appointments I have, and then I get to leave in the afternoon to go on location shoots and to do event photography and so much more. I own this little place, and I’ve brought happiness and memories to all of my clients.
But before any of that can actually happen, my business needs to grow. And I’ll be completely honest with you when I say that I haven’t been seeing much growth! Most business owners won’t tell you when they mess up or when they get discouraged or when they’re unsure of their decisions. But I want to be as open and honest with my readers and supporters as I possibly can be. And I can honestly say that I’m battling with feelings of discouragement and not being good enough.
There is, however, a light at the end of the tunnel. I still love photography. I still get this rush of excitement when meeting clients for the first time. I still have this emotional response to seeing a client’s beautiful photos at the end of the editing process and watching their face light up when they see those photos. Photography is still my passion. I have to remember that whenever I’m feeling like I’m not putting enough into it or getting enough out of it. I’m always going to get something out of photography, even if I never have another client. If the only photos I take are in nature or are of my family and friends, I’ll still be getting to experience my bliss.